Play It As It Lays

The Grace Letter



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"The Real Life Test" -
A True Autobiography


A List of Therapists Who Treat
Transgendered Persons


State - By - State Instructions
For Changing Name And Sex
On Birth Certificate


Topics Related to


Lefty: A Short Story


Parallel Lines: A Tribute 


 Christmas Messages

1998: Christmas Remembered
1999: What's In A Date?
2000: Peace On Earth
2001: Dark Days
2002: The Little Things
2003: Shop Till You Drop
2004: Survivor
2005: What Are You Waiting For?
2006: Peace In Our Heart
2007: The Greatest Of These


Real Life:
Five Years Later


The Grace Letters

Answered Prayers
One Day At A Time

Self Discovery
Strength Through Weakness


Play It As It Lays
The Way We Weren't

Share It Or Bear It

I'm Not One Of Them

What Have We To Fear?
God Don't Make No Junk

Work It Out!
What's In A Date?

Life In The Leper Colony

I Love You IF...

Homeland Security

One Thing I Know
Letting Go

The Least Of These

Will...or Grace?
The Word

What Plank?

Believing The Lie
The Greatest Of These


Facial Plastic Surgeons


SRS Surgeons


"Feminization of the Transsexual"
Douglas K. Ousterhout,
M.D., D. D. S.



Hear now the parable of the talents.

A man going on a journey called his servants and entrusted his property to them.

To the first he said, "Here is five hundred thousand dollars. Invest it exactly as follows: one hundred thousand in Consolidated Camels, two hundred thousand in First Jerusalem Savings and Loan, and two hundred thousand in Galilean Fishing Enterprises. You will enjoy riches and live a life of ease."

To the second he said, "Here is fifty thousand dollars. It isn't enough for a life of ease, but it will get you started in your own business. If you work hard, you will survive and perhaps even prosper a little."

To the third he said, "Here is five hundred dollars. It's your severance pay. You will live your life outside the shelter of my blessings. You will, however, still have to gaze upon these others, the ones for whom life may be easy or hard, but is always normal.

"You will envy them for their normal lives, because yours will never be like theirs. And yet you must attempt to be normal. It will be in vain, for you are not normal as they are. But woe to you if you attempt to accept or embrace abnormality! Other men - normal men - will reject you and cast you into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."


This is not at all what Jesus said in the parable of the talents. I think, however, that it is what many of us believe.

We see those few who live in the fine houses and drive the fine cars. They seem to lead charmed lives. We think, "I could be just like them - if I hadn't had this lifelong burden of gender identity conflict."

We see the much larger number of ordinary working people, and we identify with them. Perhaps we have been quite successful in our transition, and we blend into society in our proper gender. Yes, we appear to fit in. But to ourselves we think, "If these people knew my past, they would reject me. For I am not normal like them."

Too often we see ourselves as outcasts - in our own eyes, and more importantly, in the eyes of God. "God does know my past, and he knows I am not normal. Therefore God has rejected me."

Well, now. Just who says you are not "normal"? Is it God? Or is it Satan, laying the guilt on you to defeat you?

Who created you? God did, you say. Yes, he did. And did he create within you a conflict between the person you appeared to be and the person you knew you were in your heart? Or was this just something you chose to do on your own?

Chose? No, I didn't choose it, you say. I know I have had it as long as I can remember. I think I was born with it. On this point, science would agree with you. Transsexualism is biological, not a learned behavior.

Listen to these verses:

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.

Jeremiah 1:5

Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, "What are you making?" Does your work say, "He has no hands?"
Woe to him who says to his father, "What have you begotten?" or to his mother, "What have you brought to birth?"

Isaiah 45:10

God made us just the way we are. We may feel deformed, like a broken potsherd. But in his plan, we are just as he intended. We are beautiful in his eyes.

God wants us to deal with our inner conflict. He will give us the strength to deal with it. Almost certainly, he will not simply remove the conflict; he will guide us to its resolution. That resolution for us is to become congruent in body and spirit.

The cliché from the language of golf is "play it as it lays." We don't go back to the tee and start the round over. We have to play out of the rough.

We don't ask him to let us start our lives over with no conflict. We have to deal with our lives as he created us.

God doesn't reject us; he never did. Neither will most of our friends, if they see his beauty and love in us.

So now let us redo our paraprhase of the parable of the talents.

A man going on a journey called his servants and entrusted his property to them.

To the first he said, "You will enjoy the riches of life. Just remember, to whom much is given, much is required. I expect you to use your blessings to bring my love to others. I will give you the power to do so."

To the second he said, "You will not have an easy life, but through hard work you will realize satisfaction and success. I will give you the power to bear the toil of daily life."

To the third he said, "I love you as much as my other servants. But I am giving you a different burden. This burden will handicap you for years, and will require great strength and patience to overcome.

"But this burden is the gift I give you. Do not bury it. Take it, accept it, and use it to find fulfillment in your life.

"I, your Lord and master, will give you the power to resolve your burden and live the life I intended for you. When you have done so, you will know my joy and peace. Your life will be sweeter than ever as you know completeness; as you realize that you are - and have always been - normal, as all my other beloved servants."